Even bad expierences can make us grateful.

While Im obviously grateful for all the wonderful, happy, loving & caring moments I've had in my life, I want to say this. I am also grateful for the times I've been hurt, the times I've been lied to, decieved, talked about & left. I am grateful for every lesson I've learned from these painful expierences. Yes, they truly sucked when they were happening but I've learned from them, lessons I wouldnt have learned without going through them & for THAT, I am grateful. This isn't a negative post. ( Im not doing them here remember ??? lol) This is just another part of my gratitude list. And while the expierences themselves were negative & down right disgusting at times, I walk away from them a better person. With a better awareness of the people I allow in my life & the ones who had to go. Thank you for making me stronger and for making me appreciate the good people I have in my life. Without your "lessons" I may never have fully appreciated the real, honest, loving people that I have.

Almost 19 - how did this happen :)

I can't believe in just 11 days my "baby girl" is going to be 19 ! 19 years is a long time ! So much has happened in those 19 years, for both of us. The older I get, the more I think "what was I thinking". Not in a bad way, I just can't believe at 16 years old, I made such a huge decision. The BEST decision I've ever made. I think I was braver when I was younger. Now I second guess every decision I have to make. I can't believe I've been a mother for 19 years. Nicole & I have done a lot of growing up together. Shit, at 17 I was still a baby myself. I had no clue what I was doing or what was in store. I am beyond grateful for her. She is without a doubt THEE most important person in my life. She amazes me all the time, she is my purpose, my life, my world. Im sure I'll do another "Birthday Post" but today, right now, Im just caught up with thoughts of my baby now becoming a young woman. I love you Nicole - more then anyone - more then anything.

3 day weekends go by too fast !!!

Back to work after a nice 3 days off. I can't believe it's snowing !!! I wish I could have stayed in bed :) I had a great weekend with Steve. It was a Pia weekend :) As most of you know, it hasn't always been easy with us or his family but things are better & for that, I am grateful ! Yesterday I spent time with my father & Nicole. Made Rice Krispie Treats & dinner, it was a nice day/night before coming back to work. Tonight I have accupuncture. Im still trying to decide if I like it or if I feel like it's helping. But as I said when I first went, Im willing to try anything. Now Im just hoping the next 3 days go by as fast as the last 3 :)

Knowing your truth

TGIF !!!! Yesterday was an intersting day. You never know what the day can bring, what lessons you'll learn, what realizations you'll come to. But I am grateful. Grateful to be aware. Grateful to know who I am and where I'm at. People will speculate. People will talk. Its natural, it happens all the time. What's most important is for you ( me ) to know the truth. And I know my truth. So in keeping up with my gratitude list for this month, Im going to add that I am grateful for my awareness. That might sound strange to some people but for me, it's huge. Awareness brings comfort. It hasn't always been like that. For a long time I wasn't aware & for awhile, I didn't want to be. But today, right now, I see it as a gift, a tool & for that, I am grateful. Happy Friday !!!!

A new start

Here I am, sitting in front of a blank page, begininng a new blog. A blog where I only share the happy, positive things going on in my life. Yes, the posts may not be as frequent as my last blog but they will never give anyone a reason to worry, to question me or to talk behind my back. There's something so significant about a blank page & a new begininng. As my Dad always says "Everyday is a new begininng". In essence, everyday is a blank page. We can choose to write it as we wish. Today, I wish to focus on the good in my life. The people who love me, support me & stand by me. I have been blessed with quite a few of them & for that, I am grateful. I will keep my old blog but will keep it private. For me, writing is a release. A healthy way of letting it all go, for getting it all out & off my chest. But Im tired of letting everyone in on what's going on. It causes people stress & I don't want to dump or burdon people with that. We all have our own shit. So instead, this blog will be about the things & people I am grateful for. I will share stories of happiness, gratitude & love. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I think it's a perfect time. God knows I have LOTS to be thankful for. Im 7 days late but for each day until Thanksgiving, I am going to write one thing I am thankful for. I have a little catching up to do but that won't be hard. Day 1 - I am thankful for my daughter. She may drive me nuts at times but without her, I wouldnt be here today. She is my inspiration, my hope, my everything. Day 2 - I am thankful for my support system - They hold me up when I want to fall down. Day 3 - I am thankful for being aware. Like "they" say, once you know you cant not know. Day 4 - I am thankful for my family - they have always stood by me, NO MATTER WHAT Day 5 - I am thankful for my job - I cant believe I just said that...lol Day 6 - I am thankful for the love I recieved from Nala - she forever changed my life. Day 7 - I am thankful that I am not in that deep dark place. I will update my gratitude list daily. I think we should all have a gratitude list. It's so easy to get caught up in the negative, the worries & stress of everyday life. I am going to make a point of it to stop that & to take a look at what really matters.